As I described in ‘The Barbell Strategy: How To Benefit From Maximum Upside And Minimum Downside’, antifragility is “[to] grow stronger from perturbing events such as stressors, mistakes, randomness and more. When we’re antifragile, we’re more than robust since we develop and move beyond in the face of external pressures, not only maintain our present state.”
An antifragility mindset then is not only having the mental resilience to bounce back from adversity but to strengthen and evolve as a result.
The antifragility mindset has its roots in the concept of Amor Fati (“love of fate”), the idea that all things have happened for a reason and since what has occurred has occurred, we cannot change the past but accept it has happened and make the best out of it. Friedrich Nietzsche made amor fati a central part of his philosophy stating “That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.”
Loving the present outcome is a key attribute of an antifragility mindset. Not only bearing what happened (robustness) but embracing the result as a chance to get better (antifragility). As renowned author Robert Greene puts it “Accept the fact that all events occur for a reason, and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive.” Seeing the reason as positive is the strengthening part that makes you antifragile. You can make lemonade out of any lemon.
Vibe vampires
Vibe vampires (or Energy vampires) drain your energy, sap your mood and deplete your overall wellbeing as a result. They can be anything from people to objects to phenomena and short-lived or long-lasting.
A key thing to note is that vibe vampires are inevitabilities — we cannot spend a lifetime, year or even a month evading them, the randomness of life will throw at least some of them our way eventually. But as per the antifragility mindset, don’t see this as a negative, they’re a chance to strengthen our resolve in the face of difficulties. We can’t fortify our minds if we aren’t tested at some point.
Here is a list of common vibe vampires:
Lack of movement/lethargy
We’ve all seen the famous meme of the evolution of humans with today’s version of a person being a sedentary simpleton hunched over their desk. Modern life has rendered us dormant save for those who integrate physical activity consciously into their day-to-day lives.
Habitual movement not only keeps you in shape, it also boosts your mood. Regular zone 2 cardio is a good way to ensure you’re keeping your fitness and therefore your vibe on point.
Indoorism/Lack of sunlight
Part of the reason sedentary life renders us torpid is because it keeps us indoors. It’s all too easy to live within the confines of your home walls sustaining yourself with food deliveries, passive entertainment and creature comforts. Without exposure to the natural environment and in particular sufficient sunlight, your health and mood are adversely affected. Healthy exposure to sunlight enhances vitamin D levels which helps regulate your mood so get outdoors enough.
Lack of sleep
No surprises with this one. Sleep deprivation is a slayer, without adequate sleep everything else in life seems to operate in hard mode so make sure you’re getting enough.
Bad nutrition
We all know the importance of having a good diet but all things being equal, the benefits of avoiding a bad diet surpass the benefits of moving from an average diet to a perfect one. The good news is the former is easier to implement so get it in check. Limit your consumption of junk food, sugar and caffeine or remove them entirely.
Mainstream media
Sure, modern media can have a positive spin from time to time but the default tendency for outlets is to push negative and triggering content. This is what generates viewership, the eyeballs they need to meet their bottom lines and stay afloat.
We never evolved the capacity to take in as many sources of negative reporting from news corporations and social media as many do on a daily basis, especially news of incidents completely outside of our control in faraway regions. As far as our brains are concerned, we’re still simians making it through the savannah who happen to have complex toys we call tech. Sophisticated, but simians nonetheless who can only focus properly on one thing at a time and certainly not the torrent of stimuli we encounter in the modern world all at once.
Do your brain and thus your vibe a favour by reducing your intake of mainstream media.
Procrastination
Bruce Lee once said “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” Sometimes deep thinking lures us into a false sense of progress when we haven’t even taken real action. Often it’s better to get started and figure things out as you go along than to trick yourself into believing you can have a perfect plan before setting off.
Then there’s procrastination due to mood. Don’t succumb to the ego protection trap of waiting around for other vibe vampires to disappear before you act. Manage your emotions as best you can but take action first and let your thoughts follow.
Negative people
Now for the most notorious type of vibe vampire: negative people.
Persistent negativity needs no explanation as to why it drains your energy. We often deal with individuals like this for long periods of time either because they’re integrated in our lives or because we believe we can change them.
As much as I’d love to pretend that everyone can be rescued from a state of negativity, not everyone is in the headspace to be saved by you at that point in time regardless of your good intentions. This is a common recurrence among vibe vampire individuals — they bait you into believing they’ll change in your presence sooner or later, but the time you spend ‘saving’ them exhausts your reserves and they fall back into old habits anyway.
Counterintuitively, sustained time away from them can sometimes be the catalyst they need to enact a real change in their behaviours, removing the complacency of assuming you’ll put up with their gloomy attitude forever.
The antifragility mindset in encountering such people is to have the empathy to wish them well but to see them as currently overshooting a threshold level of negativity that you don’t want to cross and to be grateful that you have the awareness of what to steer clear of.
If others wallow in a quagmire of negativity, use that as a reminder to tell yourself “No, it’s not a foregone conclusion that I need to be like that, I can use this signal as a test to control my thoughts and actions for the better.”
Victim mentality/Persecution complex
As seen, when it comes to attitudes, the most obvious example of a vibe-sapping individual is a persistently negative person. And few are more dismal than those with victim mentalities.
People with victim mentalities operate under the false impression that the world is against them. They acquire a learned helplessness in the face of challenges and find solace in griping about their problems, seeking sympathy from anyone careless enough to lend an ear. They’re closet attention seekers and the very definition of an energy sapper.
As with negative people, use encounters with victim mentality holders as a reference point for what you don’t want to be. Be wary of succumbing to the trap of self-pity. Understand that everyone faces challenges in life not only you. See those challenges as a process of self-annealment, the pressure molding and refining you into a stronger person. As the tennis legend Billie Jean King once said “Pressure is a privilege”.
Agenda parasites
Most of society operates on a reciprocal basis. You do something for someone else, they do something in return of more or less equal measure. You exchange value of one kind, they provide value of another. You scratch someone’s back, they scratch yours.
There are, however, those who seek one-way gains for themselves extracting value from you and offering nothing in return. We call such people agenda parasites. As the term implies, these people push their agenda onto you unasked and squeeze your precious time and energy all for their own lopsided benefit, without ever really caring whether you get something out of it too.
It could be an understandable one like a salesman trying to hard sell you a product you don’t need on a downtown street or something more disappointing like a friend who leeches on your generosity again and again unrequited.
Like the antifragility mindset when dealing with negative people, use recognition of agenda parasites as a litmus test for what you don’t want to become and how you don’t want to treat other people. Be careful of letting such people that are like this into your life going forward.
Aura Angels
If vibe vampires are the drains on energy and mental capacity, aura angels are the opposite. They provide an elated uplift to a neutral or low vibe state. Here is a list of some of the best ones:
Feel good music
The hint is in the phrase itself. We all have our own choice of music that makes us happy and energetic enough to amplify our mood.
We’re lucky to live in an era where we can listen to our favourite tunes wherever we want. For most of human history, you had to sing or perform songs yourself or wait for a renowned musician to come to town and fill a local concert hall. Use this ability to tap into an external medium to pump up your state.
Breathwork techniques
Much like the basis of the antifragility mindset has been known by ancient scholars (Stoicism, Amor Fati etc.), the impact of breathing techniques on the mind and body has been known since ancient times too. Breathwork practices were carried out by ancient Indian yogis, Ayurvedic practitioners, Buddhist monks and even shamanic ritualists.
The simple act of deep breathing can alleviate tension stifling your vibe and release stress.
Gratitude practice
Gratitude practice and gratitude journalling aren’t anything secret or new but that doesn’t make them any less significant.
Remember, a hallmark of the antifragility mindset is welcoming any outcomes whatever their reason for existing and seeing them as a chance to make things positive. This is gratitude in a nutshell.
Of course gratitude isn’t limited to sitting at a desk with a pen and paper. You can be grateful for something at any moment and reclaim your emotional state towards something positive.
Comedy or something that makes you laugh
Much like music is an external medium we can tap into to supercharge our state, humour is the same. If your state is low or neutral and you want to elevate it, instead of reading the news or ruminating on the past, why not watch or listen to something that makes you laugh on your phone? Sounds obvious when put like this yet many people miss out on using their phones in a good way. Have a few go-to clips, audio segments or even pictures for the times you can’t stream live.
Mindfulness
A recurring theme you’ll notice on my blog is returning to the present moment when wanting to focus or regain control of our minds.
Mindfulness is conducive to an antifragility mindset — instead of brooding about the unchangeable past, you concentrate on experiencing the here and now as best you can.
Meditation is the most well-known method for cultivating mindfulness but you can practice mindfulness at any time. Focusing on the inhalation and exhalation of your breath (such as with the breathwork techniques above) is a form of mindfulness.
Hanging out with people you like
Unsurprisingly, spending time with people you like and that like you is one of the most reliable ways to enhance your vibe and keep it high. Along with the feel good emotions imparted between you and company you enjoy, you also benefit from a social high that you can exude in interactions with others beyond your group.
There are of course other situations and factors that influence our vibe. Idiosyncratic occurrences that jar our state or particular quirks that ramp it up. Perhaps you’re sensitive to noise or having your personal space invaded, or maybe a special type of workout gets your blood pumping in a good way. There are too many individual scenarios to account for the whole range of influences on human state and vibe.
But no matter what they are, the fundamentals behind the antifragility mindset apply. Use a trigger that threatens to unhinge your state as a signal to control your mind and emotions. A stress test that you can be grateful for receiving as it gives you the opportunity to embolden your mind in a way you otherwise wouldn’t have had. Take pleasure in your ability to be ‘meta’ from the stressor, keeping a healthy distance from a hijacking thought knowing that you decide how it affects you and since you know you have the control to decide, you will not let it overwhelm you.
“So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.” — Marcus Aurelius
Summary – Antifragility mindset
Vibe vampires are like taxes, they’re an inevitability and will fly at us at varying points in our lives.
The key is knowing how to deal with them.
An antifragility mindset is the best attitude to hold in the face of exploiters of our vibe and state. Not only having resilience to negative stressors but the ability to grow and fortify because of them.
The antifragility mindset is inherently stoical — it accepts that we cannot change the past but the hand we’re dealt is there for a reason and we can still play it as best we can.
We can also tap into aura angels when wishing to enhance our vibe. Aura angels take us from low or neutral states into positive ones increasing our capacity to deal with whatever is present with greater aplomb.
Adopt the antifragility mindset, it’s what your highest self would want.
