Overview – Dating Hungarians
This is the second in a series on international dating, a series that examines the intricacies of dating abroad and dating people from different nationalities with specific advice and recommendations. In this post, weâll look at dating Hungarians.
A point of note: these posts are acknowledged (but well-examined) generalisations about dating particular nationalities and do not claim to represent a dating experience with every individual from that country on the whole. Individual differences can of course override factors stemming from nationality. The insights are intended to provide you with a knowledge base to operate from, not be rigid associations with every person from that nation.
Five ways to meet people for dating in Hungary
No matter where you are in the world, there are precisely five ways of meeting people for dating. Five and only five. Every single method of meeting people to date falls into one of these five categories (believe me, Iâve done the hard graft in mapping this out) meaning even if you were in outer space, youâd need to meet someone through one of these methods.
So the only way any guide on dating in a particular country can say itâs comprehensive is if it examines the dating culture through all five lenses which is what this post will do.
Much of this section will focus on dating Hungarians in Budapest. This is because Budapest is far and away the primate city of Hungary: almost half of the countryâs 218,000 foreign residents live in the capital and the vast majority of travellers who visit Hungary go to Budapest.1 If youâre a reader of this blog living in Hungary or visiting in the future, itâs near certain that your activity will be in Budapest. However the cultural insights on dating Hungarians are applicable wherever you are.
Social circle dating
Budapest might not be as globalised as London or New York but as a popular European city, it not only attracts tourists from all over the world but also foreign students and workers who want to experience life in a happening metropolis.
Thereâs a large enough pool of international students plus a decent number of foreign expats (mainly from the European continent) meaning your average Hungarian in the city is exposed to foreigners in some way shape or form. Many of the younger people are open to dating foreigners and remark how interesting itâd be to hang out with someone from a different culture.
That said, thereâll always be a contingent of locals who wonât date a foreigner at all due to personal preference or concern over a language barrier. As always, donât try and get cosy with every Hungarian you meet in a social setting, instead focus on those whoâre open to interacting with non-natives.
Unsurprisingly, the international scenes are more favourable for those interested in dating Hungarians from social circles. International students studying abroad in Hungary are well poised to meet locals open to dating foreigners. There are numerous opportunities to strike up a conversation with someone from your course or mingle with locals through student societies and groups.
As for current or future expats, consider working at one of the many multinationals whoâve made Budapest their regional hub in Central Europe which not only provide English speaking work but good exposure to internationally-minded Hungarians. As always though, be careful how you mix business with pleasure and treat people youâre interested in dating at work as a bonus rather than your MO.
But your best bet in dating Hungarians from social circles lies in forming and joining new groups outside of work and school. Look for events and scenes that you can rise to become an integral member of. Be active in your social process, you can use the basic tools Iâve written about before, theyâre all prevalent in Budapest.
Dating events
Like any major city, Budapest isnât short of Meetup events and there are a range of international parties and language exchanges to be found if these tickle your fancy.
In terms of formal dating events, Speed Dating Budapest runs Budapestâs premier speed dating gatherings. The events are conducted in English so any Hungarians attending know that theyâll converse with foreigners throughout meaning the ones who attend are open to international dating by default.
Hungary is also home to a number of open air parties which have become some of the more unique events the country has to offer. These events are festival-esque gatherings in a natural setting such as a forest or lake, centred around music but with spin off activities scattered throughout. Of course these arenât de facto dating events but they are settings where people have come to relax and have fun and are open to mingling with new people. As I explained in my dating events guide, if an event has likeminded people open to casual socialising, itâs an underrated place to meet compatible others than the more well known methods. These open air events definitely fit that mold:
CityMatinĂ© – an open air day out which originated in Budapest but changes location every month to keep things fresh. Despite being an itinerant event, itâs home to resident DJs although guest musicians perform at it every now and again. âTechno-phobesâ neednât worry, a variety of activities such as outdoor yoga sessions, nomadic picnics and art workshops accompany the event so you donât only have to come along for the music.
Santsat – a self-described â[j]ourneying daytime festival found in hills and forests around Budapestâ. Similar to CityMatinĂ© with the spokes of yoga, gelato and relaxation workshops centred around a hub of musical guests but more conscious culture oriented.
Be Massive Horizon – a series of open air electronic music parties situated in picturesque Hungarian landscapes run by one of Budapestâs premier electronic record labels.
Pulp Budapest Open Air – a âFree open-air clubâ in the capital bringing together some of the countryâs most acclaimed DJs.
Savoyai Terasz – free open sky musical performances set against the beautiful backdrop of Buda Castle. More varied range of performers compared to the electronic focused others, can be anything from neurofunk drum & bass to German folk music.
Sziget Festival – to call this one an open air party is an understatement, itâs far and away Hungaryâs most famous festival and one of the biggest in Europe. Takes place on an island in the middle of the Danube for almost a week each August and attracts hundreds of thousands of people annually. Expect performances from some of the globeâs most prominent artists plus cultural offerings in side arenas.
Day encounters
Budapest is one of the shining beacons in Europe for romantic day encounters. Contrary to lingering expectations you may have heard about countries who were part of the Eastern Bloc, the women in Budapest are fairly warm, friendly and open when approached. Of course immediate rejections do happen but if youâre dressed well enough and have an assertive but warm approach technique, youâll find the reactions from most women pleasant.2
Due to the solid English level among young Hungarians (and by young I mean middle-aged or under), you shouldnât encounter much of a language barrier aside from a few ladies whoâll ask you to slow down or donât quite have the vocabulary to fully express themselves.
Like most European cities, Budapest is easy to navigate on foot and the beauty and uncluttered nature of the city make walking around enjoyable. Unlike some of its European counterparts (looking at you Prague), Budapest has a good variety of places for approaching. Keep in mind that virtually all the good places for day encounters fall on the Pest side of the city (Eastern side of the Danube) as this is the side where people go to hangout, shop, party and have fun.
Some of the best places for day encounters in Budapest include:
DeĂĄk Ferenc Square (DeĂĄk Ferenc tĂ©r) – a major public square and junction. Probably the de facto âcentreâ of the city. Conveniently close to many other major areas in Pest meaning large numbers of locals, workers, students and tourists meet and filter through here.
Fashion Street (DeĂĄk Ferenc utca) – as the name suggests, a major apparel shopping street connected to the aforementioned Square.
VĂĄci Street (VĂĄci utca) – the most well-known shopping street of Budapest with a large variety of stores. Lots of people but tourist-heavy.
Vörösmarty Square (Vörösmarty tĂ©r) – another major Square connected to one end of VĂĄci Street.
AndrĂĄssy Avenue (AndrĂĄssy Ășt) – a grand boulevard with lots of shops, cafes and performance arts venues. More on the luxury and high-end side compared to the other streets mentioned.
Oktogon – a notable intersection area named after its octagonal shape. AndrĂĄssy Avenue passes through the junction. Lots of locals live and work in the vicinity.
Westend Shopping Center – a large shopping complex located north of the city centre.
Night encounters
This statement might be disputed by nightlife czars the world over but in my opinion, Budapest is home to some of the best nightlife in Europe. Yes, many other big cities on the continent house bigger clubs, fancier bars and posher pubs. But the variety, uniqueness and open nature make Budapest a more feasible city for meeting people to date via night encounters and the eclectic nature of its venues mean thereâs always something for everyone if youâre craving something different, often within the very same place. To top it off, night outs here are cheaper than anywhere in Western or Northern Europe.
The modern young Hungarian adult living in Budapest is fairly internationalized, women more so than the men. Along with exposure to foreign students during their degrees (particularly on the Pest side), Budapest is a globalised city attracting a large diaspora of people from all over the world allured by the cityâs beauty, affordability, and nightlife making interactions with foreigners common when on nights out. Letâs examine the top locations on offer.
-> Ruin Bars/Pubs
Ruin bars or Ruin pubs (known as romkocsma in the local language) are former abandoned facilities turned into nightlife joints. Their dilapidated charm attracts a diverse range of frequenters so thereâs almost always something (and someone) for everyone. Ruin bars are a distinctive part of Central European culture, you havenât experienced nightlife in Hungary if you havenât been to one.
Szimpla Kert – the trailblazing ruin bar in all of town. If youâre coming from outside of Central Europe, you wonât have seen anything like this before. Itâs an eclectic medley somehow combining post-apocalyptic warehouse, Americana motel neon and bric-a-brac vintage decor and makes it all work. Referring to it as a pub is almost a disservice considering it has movie showings, a farmerâs market, an art gallery and even a âliving libraryâ. Consistently the biggest night out in town but a large chunk of its clientele are tourists so dating Hungarians from it will require multiple approaches and an ability to distinguish yourself as âunannoyingâ.
A38 – one of the few places on the Buda side of the Danube. A38 is a reincarnation of a Ukrainian stone-carrier ship now converted into bar/nightclub/concert hall (the more unorthodox a ruin barâs origin, the better it seems to be). Itâs a cultural stalwart and loved by locals and expats alike.
-> Bars/Lounges
Budapest isnât shy of regular bars either. Not everything has to be an open air electronic party or ramshackled bohemian affair, there are classical bars, rooftop lounges and more where you can approach. But the following are some of the top areas.
DeĂĄk Ferenc Square – think youâre seeing double? Yes this square was also featured in the day encounters section but there are a range of bars and a club (see AkvĂĄrium Klub below) right in the heart of the square just to the east of the famous ferris wheel. Summer vibes and chill fraternising in the heart of Budapest.
Gozsdu Court (Gozsdu udvar) – Gozsduâs own site labels it as the place âwhere happy people meetâ and if you like bustling nightlife with crowds then itâll certainly leave you content. Like DeĂĄk Ferenc Square, this area isnât a single establishment but a complex containing probably the most concentrated assortment of hip nightlife venues in all of Hungary. Expect throngs of al fresco restaurant-cum-bars, open view karaoke joints and verdant yet swank lounges. Thereâs even a throwback arcade for the gamers out there. Gozsdu Court is such a sprall of nightlife spots that organic interactions from across different sites just happen, itâs that type of place.
Hoff House – arguably Budapestâs undisputed premier international bar. Huge expat scene but not exclusive to non-locals, native Hungarians come here too. The international vibe means any Hungarian in attendance knows they have to speak English so thereâll be less language barriers with anyone you strike up a conversation with plus a welcoming atmosphere.
-> Clubs
Of course for high energy, physicality-infused socialising, nightclubs canât be beaten so here are some of the most popular ones the city has to offer. Unsurprisingly, the best clubs are all on the Pest side too.
Turbina – Budapestâs answer to a Jekyll and Hyde venue: Turbina is a nightclub by moonlight and cultural centre by day. Of course the nightclub antics fall under night encounters but the cultural centre is home to some of the cityâs most quirky and interesting events such as slam poetry hours and philosophical musings over short films. Expect easy conversational starters with creative minded people.
Pontoon – a self-proclaimed âurban hideaway on the beachâ, this open air boat offers goers a diverse range of club nights all in view of the iconic Chain Bridge.
AkvĂĄrium Klub – DeĂĄk Ferenc Squareâs premier venue, this multipurpose site hosts a concert hall/club, outdoor bistro and even a glass-bottomed swimming pool. The outdoor part is pet-friendly while the indoor part is home to one of the best sound systems in Budapest.
Online dating
Online dating apps in Hungary differ little from the dating app scenes in other countries. The truth is if you do well on dating apps elsewhere, youâll probably succeed dating Hungarians from apps here. If not, then donât hold out on getting extra lucky dating Hungarians from the apps just because youâve set foot abroad.
Here are the most popular dating apps and sites for dating Hungarians:
Tinder – Tinder might not be at the peak it once was but it still has a substantial market here. Be aware that the appâs user base leans towards casual dating and hookups.
Badoo – hugely popular app in Europe and South America. This presence carries over to Hungary too with the app being the second most downloaded after Tinder.
Bumble – the so-called female friendly dating app has made significant inroads in Hungary having risen to become the third largest grossing app in the country.
Randivonal – Hungaryâs longest running successful dating site. Technically not a dating app making it more like the nationâs version of Match.com but takes profiling seriously with some of the best QA on users aroundâthe vetting process is stringent plus all users have to be in Hungary reducing spam bots and fake accounts that plague other apps. Mostly for over 30s.
Specificities about Hungarian culture when dating Hungarians
Hungarian pessimism realism
Thereâs a perception that Hungarians are quite closed off. Some even remark that they have an undercurrent of pessimism and Hungarians are known to complain a lot (Hungarians themselves admit this quite freely). This tends to be more prevalent in older generations due to the oppressive hold communism had on the nation plus the treaty of Trianon, made in 1920. It removed 70% of the country along with 3 million Hungarian citizens. Some say this gave way to a darker and more sarcastic humour among the populace, a trait they share with other fellow Central European nations such as the Czech Republic. A gritty realistic attitude over blind optimism.
For example, smiling for no reason is viewed as artificial in Hungary. People need a proper reason to smile rather than just beaming for the sake of looking better or pleasing someone else. This ârealismâ pervades Hungarian society on the whole.
Ironically, as a foreigner in Hungary, this might work in your favour when dating Hungarians. Itâs perhaps this very trait (or at least perception of this pessimistic trait) that leads younger Hungarians to want to interact more with foreigners to see whether the attitude grass is greener on the other side. However as we all know, every country thinks it moans a lot.3 True or not, focus on good vibes when meeting people there. Less moaning and more dating.
All in the family
Family is big in Hungary. If you start dating a Hungarian seriously, expect to be taken to lots of family gatherings, theyâre hugely important.
Thereâs a definite possibility that you might experience a language barrier when communicating with your dateâs parents as itâs the younger generation that tends to speak English. But donât take this as a sign that you wonât be accepted. Make an effort and be cordial as you would with any other family.
Your dateâs parents might get a kick out of serving you pĂĄlinka, Hungaryâs traditional brandy. To uninitiated ears, the drink sounds like an elegant ballet move but be warned, many think itâs best referred to as âfirewaterâ and for good reason, itâs strong so stomach it as best as you can. And expect to be fed with lots of hearty paprika-flavoured food, it goes on everything.
Surfeit? Sure quit
Men are known to be willing gift givers to women, even going out of their way to lavish flowers or chocolates on a first date. However foreign men be warned, excessive gift giving is met with suspicion. Hungarians prize frugality and multiple gifts will have a local woman wondering why youâre trying so hard and if the money could have been put to better use.
For the same reason, if youâre a woman dating a Hungarian man, donât expect him to wine and dine you at expensive places every time. Heâll treat you well but that underlying economic practicality will never leave him. Again, this goes back to the historic realism that Hungarians gained from their past which their forebears ensure is hardwired into their DNA.
Name Days
Ever heard of the concept of Name Days? In certain Christian heritage countries such as Hungary, itâs the celebration of the feast day of a saint or biblical person that you share a name with.
Many people receive gifts on their Name Day in Hungary and celebrate by having a get-together. Not quite a double birthday but close enough. If you want to impress your date, celebrate it with them and get them a gift (for women, flowers are common). For bonus points, say to them âBoldog nĂ©vnapotâ which means “Happy Name Dayâ.
Gender differences when dating Hungarians
For men looking to date Hungarian women
Men, if youâre coming from some faraway land having heard that Hungarian women are super traditional and dreaming of a foreign man to come and whisk them away and provide for them, youâre in for a reality check. Yes Hungary is relatively more traditional than say the US or UK and the women are known for their beauty and femininity. But Hungarian women are well educated and independent, not mail-order brides, so donât treat them like one.
According to both local relocators and many Hungarian women, Hungarian men donât work out nor take care of their bodies as much as the non-natives do. Local men arenât exactly the type to âdress upâ either so if youâre someone who puts even a little effort into your style and keeps in good shape, youâll stand out in a good way image-wise.
Every woman loves to hear a compliment; who doesnât want to be acknowledged for something theyâve put effort into whether thatâs their choice of dress or joke you find endearing? But refrain from dishing out too many compliments. Like the realistic frugality mentioned before, excess tokens of appreciation are met with suspicionâkeep your covert nice guy tendencies away.
And you can be rest assured youâll hear about it if you donât. Hungarian women tend to be frank and tell it to you like it is if somethingâs not quite right. If youâre coming from a less direct culture, this might shock you but itâs the norm here and if anything, youâll come to appreciate honest ways you can mutually improve the relationship.
For women looking to date Hungarian men
Due to strong gender roles and expectations, Hungarian men typically donât show their emotions openly. They can be relatively phlegmatic and stubborn so if youâre from a culture where men are more expressive and pliable, donât try and pull the strings too much on dates.
This also goes for the bill, Hungarian men expect to pay for dates. They want to be proud about their capacity to provide and not drop below perceived masculine standards that exist, at least in their nation. This Central European country still cherishes tradition.
Holding hands is common for dating Hungarians, when a couple are solidified, the man wants to show the world that the woman is his girl. Youâve probably noticed a theme at this point: pride. Hungarian men want to be confident of their ability to take care of their woman and showcase to others that he can do so. Indulge him in this aspect and heâll love you for it.
Summary – Dating Hungarians
I hope youâve enjoyed reading this comprehensive overview on dating Hungarians and find it useful. As always, Iâve gone through the ways you can actually meet people in the first place, in this case to begin dating Hungarians, with specific tips and places. Weâve also looked at some of the unique cultural tendencies you can encounter when dating Hungarians for the first time as well as some key differences that apply whether youâre dating the men or women, pertaining mainly to attitudes and expectations.
Curious about the dating scenes in other countries? Check out my insightful guides on the dating scenes in Japan and Mexico. I love to hear feedback on these international dating guides, you can get in touch about anything related to them or suggest a country that youâd like a guide on next.
1 A âprimate cityâ is one which is disproportionately larger in size and significance than other cities in a country or region. One definition puts a primate city as being at least 2x the size of the next largest city and more than twice as significant.
Budapest is one of the most primate cities out of any European country. Itâs population is around 1.7 million while the next largest, Debrecen, has a population of about 200k. Significance is harder to measure but given the fact that most non-Hungarians canât name a Hungarian city other than Budapest and many even mistake Budapest as being synonymous with Hungary, we can conclude itâs socioeconomic and cultural significance far outweigh other Hungarian cities for the time being.
2 As mentioned in my Dating in Japan guide, day encounters arenât technically one way streets restricted to men approaching women but more than 99% of the time it occurs that way so this section refers to day encounters thus so. If youâre a lady who wants to approach however, all power to you.
3 Or maybe itâs just me being British, weâre not short of complainers here. The perception in nationals believing their country to be more sour grapes than others is arguably a side effect of insularity. If you donât expose yourself to other people, cultures, and ways of life, how can you know relatively speaking whether your culture is or isnât emblematic of a particular trait worldwide? Itâs one reason among many why enabling travel, relocation or nomadism (at least one of the three if not all) with a view to global learning and international dialogue is so important and the modus operandi behind Abroad Lifestyles.
