Overview â Mexican dating culture
This is the third installment in a series on international dating, a series that covers the intricacies of dating abroad and dating people from different nationalities providing specific advice and recommendations. In this post, weâll look at dating Mexicans and the dating culture in Mexico.
A point of note: these posts are acknowledged (but well-examined) generalisations about dating particular nationalities and do not claim to represent a dating experience with every individual from that country on the whole. Individual differences can of course override factors stemming from nationality. The insights are intended to provide you with a knowledge base to operate from, not be rigid associations with every person from that nation.
Five ways to meet people for dating in Mexico
Most dating guides only focus on the dating game in the midst of seeing someone and not actually on how to meet people to date. Absurd considering most people browsing dating advice are single and looking for dates.
So if we want to truly grasp Mexican dating culture, we need to look at how each of the five categories helps you date people there in the first place.
Social circle dating
People dating each other through existing friendship circles or from affiliation with shared social groups has always been popular wherever you go in the world. But in Mexican dating culture itâs huge. Along with online dating, the most common way to meet people for dating in Mexico is through social circles.
A major reason why has to do with Mexican ethnic groups. Mexico has three major ethnic group categories: Amerindians (Indigenous) such as Nahuatls, Mayans and Zapotecs, White Mexicans who trace their ancestry to Europeans, and Mestizos (âMixedâ) who have both indigenous and European blood.
Even though the term âMestizosâ isnât used in public discourse, theyâre the largest group in Mexican society with around 60% of Mexicans being Mestizos. Indigenous Mexicans make up around 30% of the population and White Mexicans close to 10%.
As any honest Mexican will tell you, the truth is that race matters in Mexico and despite the mixing of different peoples due to Mexicoâs past, ethnic identities are deep and entrenched. This has meant that for Mexican dating culture in modern times, different ethnic groups rarely pair up with each other. The result is that social circle affiliation is huge and many Mexicans wonât date beyond shared social circle expectations. It doesnât mean you necessarily have to belong to the same social circle but if youâre a foreign guy looking to date a Mexican chica, sheâll likely expect you to have shared characteristics of guys in her social circle for you to stand a chance.
So if youâre new in town, the sooner you put yourself out there to familiarise yourself among different social groups the better. Start by joining international communities in the city youâre in to build connections. Major foreigner-frequented cities such as Playa Del Carmen, Mexico City and Guadalajara all have communities and a variety of social events where you can meet others including locals who want to fraternise with foreigners.
From there you can expand into meeting more local Mexicans by searching specific meetups or joining particular clubs. Of course if you really want to integrate into Mexican locales, youâre going to want to become proficient in Spanish.
Dating events
If youâre coming from outside of Latin America you may be surprised to learn that conventional dating events arenât as common in Mexico as in many other countries. Itâs typically been a culture where âthings just happenâ as opposed to formalising the dating process through a structured setup.
This means many of the best events to meet people to date are unconventional in that they arenât proper dating events but wider social ones. Itâs often more productive to go to social events, meet a wide range of people (not only for dating purposes), get introduced to others through mutual friends, and see if you spark a connection with someone then.
One of the best types of events at which to do this is social dance:
-> Social Dance Events
Like most of Latin America, Mexican dating culture flourishes with its social events, in particular its social dances. You could even say that along with restaurants and eateries, theyâre the lifeblood of socialising in Mexico. I lost count of how many times I stumbled upon social dances outdoors or indoors, planned or spontaneous, expertly-crafted or beginner-oriented wherever I went in the country.
If you want to build a quick social circle in Mexico and meet many dateable people to boot, social dance events are a huge asset. Knowing how to dance Latin style (especially Salsa and Bachata) is a superpower here and making an effort to learn basic steps will have you making large inroads into the types of social functions you can attend and the people you can meet. In case you have two left feet, many places offer free or low-fee classes before the events start and you donât have to be experienced or a natural to join. Here are some of the best events in each city:
Latin Senses (Playa Del Carmen)– one of the leading salsa and bachata social events in PDC, every weekend the folks at Latin Senses transform the Mexcalli Restaurant into a spacious dance floor filling the airwaves with some of the regionâs top DJs. The event begins with lessons followed by a social dance event with group activities for everyone to take part in. There are even âtaxi dancersâ, pro dancers you can hail to practice with making this social dance a fun and supportive experience.
Grupo Esencia (Mexico City) – every Wednesday evening and weekend, Parque MĂŠxico in Roma/La Condesa is home to the popular salsa and bachata hangout Grupo Esencia. In one of the cityâs many lush green spaces (CDMX does well with its verdancy), you can master your scintillating salsa steps from top teachers before putting it all together in the subsequent social dance. The organisers are known for giving high quality lessons no matter how large the turnout and itâs a great choice for meeting new people, especially if youâre situated in or around the Roma area as many expats and nomads are.
ISM Mexico (Mexico City) – a stoneâs throw away from Parque MĂŠxico is another dance company – ISM Mexico. ISM holds frequent dance classes in their own school (salsa, bachata and even pole dancing) but itâs also well known for its fun and intense dance social in a restaurant space on Wednesdays where youâll never be short of a partner on the dance floor. Perhaps as itâs founded and led by a Japanese expat, the classes and events attract an even more international crowd than your average Latin boogie and there are more beginners as a result.
Chapultepec Salsero (Guadalajara) – making the most of the Latin heat, Chapultepec Salsero starts with the classic double billing of a dance class (free) followed by an open dance social, all outdoors. In true Mexican style, the enthusiasts donât let the weather stop them. In the odd event of a rain shower, youâll find the group run for cover but pick up the music right where they left off once the downpour subsides. An inviting atmosphere and welcoming community make this worth going to in GDL.
Bailamos Salsa En GDL (Guadalajara)– not a particular club or event as such but this social media page is a nexus for keeping up-to-date with the latest happenings in the Guadalajara social dance scene including any planned events or lessons taking place with a variety of people.
-> Conventional Dating Events
Now we turn to more traditional types of events that come to mind when people hear the words âdating eventâ such as speed dating and singles nights. The truth is speed dating events arenât as common in Mexico as in many other countries. Mexican dating culture is more about meeting people organically through the other means detailed or someone shooting their shot and approaching someone else. That isnât to say there arenât good dating events, check out the below if conventional dating setups are more your thing:
A Primera Vista MX (Mexico City) – one of the few singles nights/speed dating outfits offering a range of get togethers for different age groups in the capital. They do their best to tailor dating events to the tastes, age and areas of the city that attendees frequent the most. Be aware however that youâll need Spanish to participate.
The Icebreaker (Guadalajara) – if youâre hoping to see a 10 tonne polar bear in Guadalajara youâre going to be sorely disappointed. There are no arctic animals here, just a group of dedicated people helping foster romantic and professional connections through genuine activities. The Icebreaker offers speed dating events with a twist for three main groups: 22-32 year olds, 32-42 year olds, and LGBT. Events are mainly in Spanish though itâs worth contacting the organisers and checking their events page to see when they hold English-friendly ones as their Instagram page also contains English language promotions.
Day encounters
If youâve only approached people IRL during the daytime in Europe or America, youâre in for a treat doing day encounters in Mexico. Like most of Central and South America, daytime approaching is a fun and engaging experience here overall.
The biggest reason is the receptivity of the local women to calibrated approaches.1 Mexican culture is known for its friendliness even toward strangers and as a result most women will stop, hear what you have to say in the first instance, and get into more conversations with you in general. This allows you to practice the art of interacting and making an emotional impact with the opposite sex more than if you were in a country with a higher rate of instant rejections.
This doesnât mean that day encounters in Mexico is a bed of roses. As the nation with the worldâs largest Spanish-speaking population, Mexico has never needed to reach masterful levels in English the way many other countries have meaning English ability among the locals is mixed. To nobodyâs surprise, English levels in cities frequented by more gringos such as Playa Del Carmen, Mexico City and Cabo San Lucas are better than in less touristy locales. Nonetheless, even within these places the English can be mixed and knowing Spanish is king.
Then thereâs the variety of locations (or lack of) in the cities themselves. Mexico is a huge country with several cities containing well over a million people yet the volume and availability of viable women to approach in these cities isnât as widespread as you might think. In particular, PDC and Mexico City, two cities popular with foreign visitors have limited areas for productive approaching and itâs vital you know which areas to approach in to make day encounters there worth your time. Luckily, this guide has your back. The following are hands down the best places for day encounters in Mexico:
Playa Del Carmen
Playa is a well known beach party town situated on the east coast of Mexico next to the Caribbean Sea. It attracts a broad swath of party-seeking, sun-soaking and resort-loving clientele but remains less Americanised than its famous sister city to the north, Cancun.
Fifth Avenue (Quintana Avenida) – the truth is thereâs only one obvious area to run day encounters in PDC and thatâs on Playaâs most infamous street: Fifth Avenue. Almost everything thatâs happening in Playa occurs on this street, a convenient short distance away from the beach. As such, the footfall of locals, tourists and nomads filters through here so youâll never be at a loss of where to approach. The Quinta AlegrĂa mall is a useful spot for approaching in the event of the odd tropical rain shower that comes out of nowhere (itâs the Caribbean Sea after all).
Mexico City
Mexicoâs capital city (also known as CDMX) inevitably contains a plethora of women, many of whom are among the most educated, fashionable and hip in the country. Despite this, CDMX is notoriously confounding. Youâd think with its 20+ million inhabitants youâd undoubtedly run into attractive women but this is far from the case if you leave it up to chance just hitting areas that look busy. You HAVE to know where to go.
Polanco – as the “Beverly Hills of Mexicoâ, Polanco is CDMXâs most upscale neighbourhood containing luxury shops, high-end restaurants and swank properties. This doesnât mean the women here are spoilt princesses â Polanco attracts a mix of fashionable, hip and down-to-earth ladies from all over the city. Head to Antara shopping mall if you want to saunter in an indoor area or take a break away from the gridded streets.
Roma/La Condesa – if ever there were a hipster neighbourhood in Mexico City itâd be here. The area of Roma/La Condesa is awash with young professionals and nomads allured by the vicinityâs artistic vibes, leafy surroundings and boutique cafes to pass time in. The quality doesnât quite compare with Polanco but itâs a more reliable change of scene and demographic than other places in the city.
Guadalajara
Mexicoâs second-largest city known for its tequila and mariachi music. Guadalajara is less frequented by tourists so presents a âshinierâ opportunity for non-Mexicans than PDC and CDMX. Be aware however that English levels are lower than those places as a result so to make the most of this city, it helps to brush up on your Spanish.
Zapopan – an affluent area generally regarded as one of the safest in the city. Like Polanco in CDMX it draws in quality women in the Jalisco state. Try the Andares Shopping Mall if you need an indoor location.
Centro – the downtown centre of the city. Like all historical centres it has a high footfall of people including tourists so is good for meeting a range of individuals. Drift along the main tourist attractions or check out Forum Tlaquepaque which is a popular mall there.
Night encounters
Not all stereotypes are legitimate but one that’s true is Latinos know how to party and Mexico is no different. Mexican dating culture thrives on its vibrant nightlife â if you want food, music, variety or just plenty of nice people to approach, the main cities have got you covered.
Mexicans are known for their conviviality and openness so leave any âtsundereâ antics back in your homeland and put yourself out there with warmth. Whether you prefer to meet people at night in bars or clubs, the following venues have been chosen based on their accepting mix of foreigners and locals, reputation, and frequency of attractive young adults.
-> Bars/Lounges
Bar Loco (Playa Del Carmen) – situated right on Fifth, this upstairs bar overlooks Playaâs most famous street so if you ever look up and see people having a good time, it might well be here (itâll probably have something to do with the fact that they offer 20 peso shots and margaritas). The patrons arenât just your average tourists either, Mexican locals vouch for this bar so youâll be able to mingle and party with a diverse crowd.
Departamento (Mexico City) – laid-back bar/restaurant/club terrace combo perched in the centre of eclectic district Roma Norte. Departamento has three floors with the rooftop hosting live music during the day and turning electronic at night. Popular with tourists and crucially, the local crowd, one of Departamentoâs (underrated) strengths is creating enough atmosphere without DJs cranking up the decibels too far meaning conversations with your interest of choice wonât be a strain.
Terraza Roma (Mexico City)– if rooftop bars are more to your taste then this lounge bar in Roma will be right up your alley. Donât let the upscale decor make you think this place is for yuppies, the vibe is ambient but chill and boasts a good mix of CDMXâs bohemian go-getters.
Bar27 Santa Fe (Mexico City) – somewhat a way out of town, Bar27 is perched right in Santa Fe, CDMXâs newest district. Donât let that stop you from going though, the quality and atmosphere are worth it â locals and travellers alike consistently rate it as one of the best bar-club combos in all of Mexico City. This probably has something to do with its proximity to two major universities and Centro Santa Fe, one of the largest shopping malls in the world.
Chapultepec Bar Street (Guadalajara) – despite being a huge city, Guadalajara shares something in common with Playa in that it has a dominant street (Avenida Chapultepec) acting as a commercial and recreational hub when you just want a go-to spot with lots of options. Some of the cityâs most popular bars and clubs line the avenue. Whether you want a classy terrace bar replete with mezcal and cocktails, laid-back rock joint serving craft beers, or lively salsa and cumbia hangout featuring performers, youâre bound to find a vibe you like to meet people.
La Lupita Cantina (Guadalajara)– a Centro bar that brings the fun Mexican-style. Dynamic decor, lively luchadores and random tequila top-ups â all ensuring the vibe is jovial enough to make chatting to strangers a piece of cake.
-> Clubs
Coco Bongo (Playa Del Carmen)– the most famous club in PDC. A wild nightlife experience, Coco Bongo is notable for its theatrical shows in the midst of the club with foreigners flocking in their droves to experience them. As such, Coco Bongoâs crowd is tourist-heavy, no doubt there are ample opportunities for night encounters but if you prefer getting to know locals itâs probably better to go elsewhere.
Mandala (Playa Del Carmen) – if you want a go-to safe option to party and meet a mix of locals and tourists then look no further. Located on the corner of Calle 12 and 1 Avenida, Mandala is an open air two-storey club where every night is a weekend night. Asian interior design, bottle service and a combination of EDM and top hits bring in a fun, diverse crowd. Best of all, since itâs open air, unlike other clubs you can actually get a feel for what itâs like from the outside before you step in.
Love Club Polanco (Mexico City)– one of Polancoâs trendiest nightclubs with the clientele to match. Be sure to reserve in advance to not be caught out at the door.
Government Club Polanco (Mexico City) – like any proper government building this place is situated right in the centre of the town yet itâs anything but a ministry affair. Government Club has been hosting some of Polancoâs most flamboyant soirĂŠes since 2016 and has garnered a good reputation among young clubbers for its multi-genre playlists and impressive lights.
Bar AmĂŠricas (Guadalajara)– one of Guadalajaraâs premier nightclubs situated on the Chapultepec Bar Street known for its electronic music and light system. The crowd here is young, mixed and open-minded.
Lola Lolita (Guadalajara) – a quintessential club experience. Techno, sparklers, neon, bubbly â everything a young demographic needs in the hedonistic den that is a nightclub.
Online dating
Even in Mexican dating culture, when it comes to online the standard one-two punch is non-negotiable. Have a range (but not too large) of high-quality photos of yourself in different scenarios to show variety and fun in your lifestyle. Craft a short but riveting bio that finds the right blend of personality sell yet retains that oh so intriguing air of mystery.
Mexico gets a bad rep as a country thatâs not always the safest but if you stick to the right areas, you should remain secure â the majority of foreigners have no issues with safety. Watch out for catfishers who are unfortunately prevalent wherever you go online in the world. Meet dates in well-lit public places and stay away from the barrios. If you stick to the neighbourhoods in the cities mentioned so far when meeting, you should be fine.
La-Date – regarded as one of the most foreigner-friendly dating platforms out there, La-Date connects joiners with singles in all of Latin America and has a large active user base in Mexico. Pros include easy signup, verified members, detailed profiles and diverse communication methods keeping app activity stimulating. Be aware though that for men, reaching out and communicating with other members requires payment (through a credits model). As mentioned in other guides, such a model isnât always a negative as it keeps ratios pleasant and this is the case with La-Date which has more females than males.
Mexican Cupid -the fact that âMexicanâ is in the title of the site is telling â this is a platform where locals seek foreigners and vice versa relatively more than other dating apps. Locals sign up to sites like these if theyâre open to dating non-locals but arenât sure where to find them so by signing up, you could be just what theyâre looking for. The main demographic is thirty-somethings with the average age range being mid-to-late thirties so if youâre looking to date young adults, itâs better to use one of the swipe apps.
Bumble – Like in almost every country, swipe apps reign supreme over dating sites when it comes to popularity of use. Bumble is one such app with significant inroads into the market share of Mexican dating culture. Many prefer itâs women message first feature to increase the likelihood of real interest between matches occurring. Tends to have a wider age range of users than competitor apps and is less casual dating oriented.
Tinder – the biggest dating app in the world can also claim that moniker in Mexico. Almost half of all dating app users in Mexico (48%) are on it. Tinder is Tinder here too â if you like it where youâre from, youâll probably like it in Mexico as well. If not, donât get your hopes up relying on it although you may get a short-term algorithm boost as can happen when landing in a new country.
Specificities about Mexican dating culture
Hispanic Time
Ever arranged a plan with a Latino and had them show up minutes if not hours late if at all? Chances are they were operating on âHispanic Timeâ and not your local clock.
Mexicans wonât deny they are any different. Thereâs even language to convey hispanic time such as âahoraâ and âahoritaâ. A direct translation of âahoraâ and âahoritaâ will show you they mean ânowâ and âright nowâ respectively. Yet to any Mexican, these would be laughable definitions. In reality, the words can actually mean anything from now to an unspecified time in the future. And in Mexico, itâs usually closer to the latter. In fact some Mexicans refer to the words as âsecond category nowsâ.
Then thereâs the front of making plans. Sure, there are followed through plans in Mexico, a society couldnât function if there werenât. But if youâre expecting a concrete, affirmative, pencilled in the diary type of affair, youâre in the wrong country.
For someone from a low-context culture, it might be hard to understand but in higher context cultures, loosely agreeing to plans whether realistic or not is considered greasing the social wheels with whomever youâre talking to. Sometimes this is because the person is interested in hanging out but canât say when (because they operate on hispanic time remember). Other times itâs because they donât want to and it prevents them from having to give a direct rejection. People will say theyâll have you over for dinner or coffee but donât actually follow it through.
Therefore reach out again and maybe even a third time to ensure a plan is still on â reconfirming your plans with someone in Mexican dating culture is crucial. Otherwise youâll risk having more flakes than a dandruff-ridden 99 ice cream cone.
Take part in your own Telenovela
I once heard that people watch soap operas because drama is exciting and âreal life is sometimes boringâ. A lot of Mexicans would say their soap operas (telenovelas) take that statement a little too literally, something that can extend to real life relationships.
Tune into any telenovela and youâll see a show full of fights, scandals, jealousy and outrage. While real life is rarely as dramatic, Mexicans are a passionate bunch and if your dates or relationship begin to plateau, expect to see some fiesty drama from your Mexican partner.
If youâre as cool as a cucumber and this sounds hellish, donât fret â Mexican sass is one of the good kinds.2 From a man to a woman, it demonstrates he cares an awful lot about you to make it worth his while. And coming from a woman, itâs a similar ordeal, Mexican women know how to push buttons to see if a man is all heâs cracked up to be. But crucially (unlike certain other countries), they do so with an undercurrent of warmth not vindictiveness.
Life without spice? Fajita about it
âVariety is the spice of lifeâ as the saying goes. For Mexicans however, spice is the variety of life.
It seems to go on everything here: candy, beer, chocolate, salsa â nothing is immune from it.
So prepare yourself for dates thatâll spice up your life both figuratively and literally. Youâre going to have to eat and drink spice sooner or later with your date. Extra brownie points if you eat the spicy food served by their family. Taco âbout essential.
Family gatherings – wine, dine, and lose track of time
Speaking of family get-togethers, prepare yourself â Mexicans are huge on family togetherness and family gatherings here go long into the night. In Mexican dating culture, meeting your dateâs family isnât a gathering; itâs an overnight experience. Hispanic time isnât only about starting late but finishing later too.
If youâre invited to meet your dateâs family, consider it a huge step in your relationship with that person. And expect to be treated with lots of good food, good moods and fiesta fun, if you can handle it.
Gender differences in Mexican dating culture
For men looking to date Mexican women
What can a foreign guy expect from the average Mexican seĂąorita? If you find yourself dating a Mexican lady, anticipate seeing a woman who is friendly, open, has a zest for life and with just enough warm sass to keep you on your toes.
But donât mistake that affability for easiness. Mexican women donât just date someone because theyâre a light-skinned gringo who earns more money. Youâre going to have to display your qualities, show you can take the lead, be patient, and convey that you âget itâ. And if youâre the reclusive type, youâll need to get out of your shell more and show her you can have a good time.
So what are those things that show you âget itâ?
As with any fascinating culture there are peculiarities.
For instance, when out together, donât let your gal walk on the side of the pavement closest to the road. This stems from a deep seated cultural more of women wanting to feel safe on the street. In general, take good care of your date and make sure she feels safe at all times. Some areas may seem perfectly secure to you as a man but to a local woman whoâs heard all the stories, itâs far from a haven. There are some women who wonât even walk 10 minutes to go home due to safety concerns. If she needs to head back, show your protective side and get her an Uber, sheâll appreciate it.
Also Mexicans can be a superstitious lot. Donât put your ladyâs bag on the floor or expect her to sit in a corner. Apparently thisâll mean sheâll never get married and itâll all be your fault so learn the culture to avoid her wrath.3
Lastly, this is the 21st century so leave any cringe cliched notions you have about Mexicans behind. Theyâre not lazy, theyâre not drug dealers and theyâd appreciate if you sip your tequila instead of downing it. Show the women youâre a cool and calibrated guy who doesnât base his world views on Hollywood movies.
For women looking to date Mexican men
For the ladies dating in Mexico, what image comes to mind when considering dating Mexican men? Is it one of passion? Wildness? Geniality? Sensuality?
Remember individuals come in all shapes and sizes and with a range of personalities so thereâs no one universal cultural trope.
But there are certain tendencies youâll encounter if you date around enough.
Compared to its northern neighbour, Mexico still has more traditionally defined gender roles.4 Ask any local and theyâll tell you thereâs still an element of âmachistaâ in society. Although this is somewhat changing with younger generations, donât be surprised if you see displays of male bravado from your date; he wants to show that he can take the lead and romance you. For example when it comes to expenses on dates, let him pay and take care of you â if you try and pay on a first date, it might signal that you want nothing to do with him in the future.
Another thing that might surprise you is Mexican men tend to have no problems expressing their emotions. In fact, a guy here might profess his love for you early on quite casually. But it doesnât necessarily carry the same weight as saying âI love youâ in other countries. This is because saying âI like youâ to a girl youâre dating isnât considered intense enough in Mexican dating culture so it can ironically be offensive to use this âsoftâ expression of interest.
Also, if you like innuendos youâre going to enjoy the company of Mexican men. They love a good sexually charged double entendre. If not, well maybe youâll have to grin and bear it.
Summary – Mexican dating culture
There you have it â the ultimate guide to Mexican dating culture. Weâve looked at all the different ways you can meet Mexican locals in the first place, specific places you can go depending on the city, cultural nuances, gender differences and many other tips and tricks to help you ace your dating life as a foreigner in the country. Mexican dating culture isnât as complex as some others but this comprehensive overview will elevate your understanding to the next level.
If youâre interested in other international dating guides check out my detailed exposĂŠs on the dating scenes in Japan and Hungary. If you have any questions get in touch â I love to hear what people think of intercultural dating and their experiences with it.
1 As Iâve said in all my international dating guides, day encounters donât have to be solely a men approaching women scenario. But as the majority of women either never have to approach nor want to, advice on the internet refers to men approaching women. Well done though if youâre a woman whoâs initiated conversations with men you like the look of IRL.
2 Yes there are âgood kinds of sassâ, at least from my point of view. I could write a whole post on different types of sass in the world, but needless to say, Mexican sass is a warm kind done from a place of getting you to emotionally commit rather than to push you away.
3 Ok Iâm exaggerating but there are several âperpetually singleâ superstitions in Mexico that women want to avoid.
4 Readers whoâve read my other articles on international dating and dating abroad will have noticed a trend: in general, the more Westernised and Anglophonic a nation, the less traditional its approaches to dating and gender roles will be and vice versa.
