In another post, I wrote about the nature of malleable beliefs. How avoiding ideological dogma is mandatory for leading an accurate life. Why understanding that we’ve all had convincing ideas we no longer believe in and how acknowledging that current beliefs could go the same way helps us to become open-minded thinkers who update our priors to reflect reality.
In line with this mindset, this post will elaborate more on embodying a non-idealogical approach to life by avoiding othering and offer some food for thought about habits and thinking patterns we adopt without awareness which when removed, will likely make us better people period.
The origins of othering
It is a more inspiring battle cry to scream, “Die, vicious scum!” instead of “Die, people who could have been just like me but grew up in a different environment!” — Eliezer Yudkowsky
There’s a saying that everybody needs an enemy.
Whether it’s a politician on the other end of the spectrum, the opposing team in our favourite sport, or that coworker we fundamentally disagree with, we all seem to have at least one person that gets our blood pumping. Someone whose views or way of operating clash with our own to such a degree that we can’t help but outright denounce them.
But we rarely ponder why this is the case. We all like to think we’re the exemplars of moral righteousness, that we’re the gold standard of what’s good and bad and that as we’re right, others who aren’t aligned must be wrong.
It might seem simpler to render the universe as black and white but reality is much more nuanced. The truth is we’re not as virtuous as we think we are and our adversaries aren’t as immoral as can first appear. In fact, very few people in the world are evil—it takes an awful lot to make someone reach such a morally degenerate threshold. Those who are out to deliberately ruin someone else’s life are scant in number.
So much of what we deem falls on the side of good and bad is down to ingroup and outgroup bias respectively. The forces of both biases create favouritism towards one group and disapproving tendencies towards another.
Ingroup bias causes us to favour the group(s) that we’re already familiar with out of self-interest. Historically, by forming close-knit ties with a particular group, our chances for survival and flourishing increased.
Outgroup bias makes us magnify the differences outside groups have compared to our ingroup and over-homogenise those demographics. It’s easier to tell ourselves that outsiders all share the same sets of negative traits than to make an effort to see their individuality.
Eye-opening studies have revealed the extent to which these biases are entrenched in human nature. Children as young as three demonstrate ingroup bias based on nothing more than t-shirt colour and 12 year old boys can become violent towards each other when separated into arbitrary teams despite sharing the same ethnic, religious and socioeconomic background.
If we’re not careful, these biases lead to the concept of othering: ascribing negative characteristics to people who differ from the ‘norms’ of our own social groups. When compounded, othering results in deep discriminatory attitudes such as prejudice, bigotry, marginalisation and more.
Here are some tips to avoid othering and quash idealogical tunnel vision which can adversely affect our interactions with others if we’re not mindful.
Tips on preventing othering
Remember that you’re talking to a fellow human being
I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better. — Abraham Lincoln
Patronising advice? I don’t think so. History is replete with examples where people like you and I were dehumanised to the point that they were victimised to atrocious levels, merely for being different. I don’t have to spell out particular cases, you’ll have been taught these in history lessons and unfortunately, you can still find instances in the news today.
What we hear about outgroups rarely comes from the mouths of the people, it’s filtered through third parties such as the news, media, or even our siloed ingroups themselves. That’s because statistically, we’re not exposed to the outgroups as much, we converge upon the safety net of our ingroups.
But spend face-to-face time with someone who we disagree with or at least hear what they have to say and surprise, surprise, our animosity softens. That’s because we’re forced to see them as human beings with their own values and beliefs along with their reasons for pursuing them, not as outsider ‘aliens’ by association othering creates.
Remember, no matter how conflicting someone else’s beliefs and ideas are from your own, they’re a fellow person and have just as much a right to live their life on this planet as you. You don’t have to agree with them but you can see their individuality regardless.
Understand the nature of malleable beliefs
In a world of change, sometimes it can seem like the only things unmoving are our core ideas and beliefs. It’s hard to believe that an opinion we hold dear now could be wrong or irrelevant in the future.
But not all thoughts can remain static, the universe is dynamic and forces you to reconsider things in certain areas of life eventually. Most beliefs are fundamentally malleable in nature.
So before you berate someone else’s opinion or way of life, ask yourself if there’s a kernel of truth in it. Taking that extra step of consideration will at least protect you from committing unnecessary othering and promote a healthier non-dogmatic approach to life.
Avoid the character assassination trap
It seems like every day we see instances of character assassination. People being vilified for who they are not what they stand for. The widespread nature of news and gossip media has made this type of argument so common, we’ve forgotten how faulty the reasoning behind it often is.
When you observe a critique of someone’s position, notice whether the criticism is directed towards the person’s argument or whether it’s a personal attack. You’ll be amazed at how many educated people in society conflate the two as being the same.
This goes for hypocrites too. I used to loathe adults including former teachers and coworkers who preached to children to adhere to the rules of ‘upstanding citizens’ in society yet did the complete opposite in their day-to-day lives. But upon reflection, I realised that arguments can be valid even if a person’s integrity isn’t. A parent encouraging their own teenager not to smoke when they’re going through a packet a day themself is still giving out sound advice.
Failure to practice what someone preaches deserves critique in its own way but it doesn’t invalidate everything that comes out of that person’s mouth. Assess someone’s reasoning on its own merit. As an old saying goes play the ball and not the man. Avoid ad hominem attacks.
Don’t succumb to ‘Reactionary trap othering’
We’ve addressed the nature of othering but there’s a special type of othering rampant in societies across the world that isn’t talked about often and that is what I call ‘reactionary trap othering’.
The reactionary trap is a term given to disproportionately excessive opposition to social or political change. It’s a preoccupation with political adversaries and an exaggeration of the threats those with opposing views can bring. In short, idealogical polarisation.
Reactionary trap othering then is a negative overreaction to people who share different views from you in any walk of life not just politics. It’s overstating the Us-vs-Them mentality when in reality it’s less adversarial a situation.
The most common manifestation of this is lumping people who don’t share your opinion on a matter into the polar opposite group. This is most obvious with political views—in this highly polarised era, people can’t wait to label someone as an extremist on the other end of the spectrum fast enough. In the US, questioning an illogical “woke” policy can have its supporters associate you with being a “Trumpist” even though you could be a left-leaning person. Similarly, showing sympathy for socially liberal causes can make you a “commie” among many conservatives even though you might be right-wing yourself.
Reactionary trap othering isn’t restricted to politics, ingroup and outgroup biases are so entrenched it happens all the time. Forming negative stereotypes about a particular nationality based on one bad encounter with someone from that country. Succumbing to sexist tropes against either men or women because of a bitter breakup. The Us-vs-Them mentality is pernicious.
Instead, control yourself from falling prey to the trap. Take a deep breath before you reactively jump to conclusions. Remember as above to avoid defaulting to character assassination and assess a person’s views more than their personality. Know that opinions are multidimensional and realise that one viewpoint isn’t representative of a person’s overall state of mind.
And be careful with how you consume social media. It’s algorithms encourage siloing and the reactionary type of character assassination for clicks and engagement.
Broaden your social circle with an open mind
We’ve spoken about numerous tips to lessen the hold that ingroup and outgroup biases have on us when forming opinions on others and their beliefs.
But the truth is nothing beats ingroup bias quite like actually getting out of those groups and meeting new people.
This doesn’t mean you have to abandon your existing social circles, just that valuing the logic that a new person could be as beneficial to your life if not more than existing contacts is a worthwhile pursuit.
Broadening your social circle exposes you to new ideas and ways of life. Unsurprisingly, people who approach life this way are some of the most tolerant of all—it’s hard to hold disproportionate outgroup bias when you hold an open mind with everyone you meet.
Summary
Tribalism is as old as our species—the forces of ingroup and outgroup bias helped cultivate kinship ties among ancestral communities. But taken too far, these biases lead to unnecessary othering—ascribing often unfounded negative characteristics to outsiders on the basis that their views differ from our own.
There are steps we can take to stave off the lure of othering. Refrain from dehumanising language. Know that since all beliefs are malleable, there could be a kernel of truth in alternative opinions. Avoid character assassination and play the ball not the man. Resist ‘reactionary trap othering’. And hold an open mind to meeting new people outside of your existing ingroups.
It pays to be part of the few that can avoid the idealogical trap of othering. Think better, operate better, live better with a non-dogmatic approach to life.
